Episode 7: Why I Hate Hot Takes
Hot takes are everywhere—and they’re exhausting.
It’s not just the obvious bad actors in politics, culture wars, or fundamentalist religion. It’s even people I normally respect—people who usually write with patience, wisdom, and peace. But on social media, the algorithms reward quick outrage, and even thoughtful voices get sucked into firing off snappy one-liners.
In this episode of What I Do Believe, I share why hot takes frustrate me, how I’ve been guilty of them myself, and what finally made me step back. Instead of calling people out, I believe the better way forward is learning to call people in.
▶️ Listen to the Episode
🔑 Key Takeaways
Hot takes are addictive, but they don’t build understanding.
Call-out culture often makes us feel powerful but rarely leads to change.
Anger-driven posts can cause us to lose our voice with the very people we want to reach.
True change happens through relationships, not arguments.
Calling people in means listening first, creating belonging before believing.
📚 Links & Resources
📄 Full Transcript (click to expand)
[00:00:00] Zachary Bryant: Welcome back everyone to another episode of the What I Do Believe podcast. This is a show where we talk post deconstruction, faith, and how to move forward, focusing on faith, hope, and love and freedom, not anger, fear, criticism, rage, frustration. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. I really appreciate it.
So today's episode is called Why I Hate Hot Takes, and I really do because they're everywhere. And it's not just one group of people posting them, it's across the board. You've got a lot of obvious bad actors, of course and politics and culture wars, conservative and fundamentalist Christians, pop deconstructionists, angry atheists.
Everyone's got a hot take and they're firing them [00:01:00] off. Constantly. But what really gets me is that it's not just those people, um, those groups, it's even people I respect. People who normally carry themselves with wisdom, with patience, with a voice of peace. People who, you know, when they write long form and blogs or articles or books or sit down for a conversation.
So, yeah, they actually have something really kind and peaceful and meaningful to say and helpful, but then I even see them, uh, get sucked into the machine. Firing off hot takes on Twitter, on threads, Facebook, Instagram captions substack notes and stuff like that so they're firing off their short, quick hot takes all over the place on those platforms. And it's basically because all those short form spaces are where quick outrage and snappy one-liners travel faster get more engagement. And, uh, that's just the way the algorithm works. So it's, it's definitely frustrating and disappointing because I think hot takes have become like a [00:02:00] microcosm of the larger problem in our culture right now where we'd rather be quick.
Than careful. We'd rather be loud than thoughtful, reactive than, you know, reflective. And the sad part is, you know, we keep engaging in this way and I think we all know it doesn't work. Hot takes really don't help. They don't build understanding. They don't invite anyone in. They just pile more noise onto the noise.
And I know this not just because I see it everywhere but because. I've done it myself. And, and that's largely what I wanna talk about today. This episode builds off my substack post from this past week. So you can go, you can go and read that if you would like to. But, uh, there I wrote about. This idea of calling people in instead of calling them out.
And I wanna build on that today, not by repeating myself too much. Um, this isn't just the audio form of that, blog [00:03:00] post, but by sharing some of my own story and a little more detail and how I've seen this play out in real life. So, you know, like I said, we live in a world. The digital landscape that thrives off of hot takes, and maybe that, uh, shapes how we engage in real life too.
I think it kind of does. But, uh, you know, especially online social media rewards outrage. It rewards quick judgements and call outs. The algorithm loves that stuff. The louder, the harsher, the funnier, the more witty more controversial maybe, uh, the more attention it gets despite. Whether or not the, the outcome is, uh, or the result is, is a helpful one.
And like I said, I know this because I have been there, um, back in 2020. I'm sitting at home just stewing all day long. I was angry. I was seeing injustice everywhere in politics and church culture, society. And I was at a place where I [00:04:00] didn't know what to do with all of that rage that was just constantly building up within me.
And so I did what probably, you know, everybody is still doing. Uh, I started firing off hot takes online all the time just posting on Facebook, primarily arguing in comment sections. Uh, reposting, you know, controversial or, you know, attention grabbing hot takes and just really calling people out constantly and telling people how wrong they were.
And at the time, I told myself I had really good motives for that. I told myself I was doing it for justice, for truth, for the greater good. You know. All that stuff that maybe we tell ourselves. But the reality was I was just really angry and I wasn't helping anyone think differently. I wasn't trying to invite people into a conversation.
I was just spilling my anger out onto everyone around me, and it felt really good [00:05:00] for a moment. There's something strangely satisfying about telling people. How stupid or wrong I think they are. But it actually doesn't do any good. It just keeps us stuck in cycles of rage and pain and loneliness.
Uh, but really kind of the, the turning point in this, for me there, I mean, this is a short version of the story, but one of the turning points in this for me is that one day, you know, maybe after, uh, particularly. He did public conversation from one of my hot takes online, or, you know, getting really into the thick of it in the comment section with somebody.
My wife Kayla, she, we were probably taking a walk in my, in our neighborhood and she looked at me and just asked a really simple question. She said, do you actually want people to listen to what you're saying? Which. Amazing question. Do you actually want people to listen to what you're saying?
Uh, because if [00:06:00] you do, she said this isn't the way to go about it. You're gonna lose your voice. You're gonna lose your voice with people who maybe you have had it or do still have it, you know, but you're gonna lose it with them. Um, and that's really stuck with me ever since because I think she was right.
Really what she was said challenged my intentions. And help me notice that, despite what I said, my intentions are, that actually wasn't what they were. I wasn't trying to help people see differently. I wasn't trying to create understanding. To be honest, I was really just trying to piss people off.
I was pissed off and I didn't wanna be miserable alone despite the fact that everybody else was already pissed off too. So. I was just trying to piss people off because I was pissed off and I was really addicted to the anger, to the fight and to the, uh, the release that came from dumping it out onto somebody else.
[00:07:00] And so her question, uh, really forced me to step back and ask, why am I really doing this? What am I actually accomplishing? And I've really tried hard not to do that ever since. But now a few years later. I see the same thing continuing to happen in the deconstruction world online, of course, in politics.
There are countless creators and platforms that are basically just hot take machines. Some are angry, some are sarcastic, some, you know, claim to be educational. Some are funny and yeah, a lot of these platforms do offer value. I'm not completely condemning them. And, and don't get me wrong, you know, I love a good meme about how messed up church culture can be.
I think humor is one of the ways we, we process pain and, and move forward and survive.
But I think at the same time, so many of these accounts and these creators and these people, you know, just constantly talking into [00:08:00] these spaces and have huge followings I think a lot of times they've. From my perspective, they just really crossed the line into just being a bully platform. 'cause day after day, really all they're doing is just making fun of people.
Uh they're, dunking on Christians, they're mocking leaders. They're just constantly criticizing people who see things differently. And, uh, I get it. You know, you can say that you're against bullying or against. Being hateful or judgmental unless you feel like the people who are the butt of the joke deserve it.
And I totally understand that. I'm definitely more sympathetic to, some bullies than others. Uh, because if the, the butt of the joke is somebody who deserves it, it feels very justified. If you've been hurt or traumatized by the church, if you've experienced spiritual abuse, if your life has been damaged by harmful theology, [00:09:00] harmful church culture, it makes sense that you would wanna flip the script.
And I find a lot of joy or. You know, entertainment or value in people turning it around on them. But bullying the bullies, I think really isn't the healing that we're long for. At least it doesn't result in the long form healing that we want. And it's not the way forward.
I know this because I've done it like I said, so, you know, here's the problem. Yeah, calling people out might feel powerful, and it definitely does when you're doing it, but I really think it's usually not about healing or being a part of solutions, it's really just about distancing ourselves. Um, we want everyone to know I'm not like them.
You know, I'm not that kind of. Person. I'm not that kind of Christian. Uh, I'm not a Christian. You know, I'm not one of those people. I'm a good person. I'm a, I'm one of the good ones, you know? But all that really does is make whatever we're talking about, about [00:10:00] us instead of, you know, about maybe the people.
It's really about, I know that me railing against racism in 2020, it wasn't me really caring about systemic racism and how that was on display. It was about making it about me. It really was. I was, I was making it all about myself. Rather than doing the slow, humbling work of repentance and healing and understanding and change and trying to draw other people into those similar things.
So it's really just building an audience on anger and, rage and division rather than solutions and, and healing and, and moving forward. And, you know, well, maybe there is a time and place to just really focus on problems. Uh, and maybe you can find community in other people who have been harmed in the same way.
Uh, you know, maybe similar to like the Me Too movement or something like that. There's a time and place to gather around shared experiences and [00:11:00] shared thoughts about the things that are wrong. If that's the only thing you do and you just keep living in that place it does way more harm than good.
More yelling past each other, more cycles of outrage where nobody is. Is actually listening. Um, if your real motivation. Is to build community and help people consider differing perspectives or move towards healing or move towards peace. Then call outs just by themselves are not gonna get you there.
And I really do think we have to learn how to stop calling people out and start calling people in, So what does this mean? Calling people in? It could mean a lot of different things, but the way I understand it right now, I think calling people in means creating belonging before believing.
It means acceptance before rethinking means yeah, just welcoming [00:12:00] people regardless of what they think and whether they agree with you or not, you know, yet, or whether or not they ever will. Because I think we all know, like nobody's ever really changed their mind because they lost an argument, right?
Especially when it comes to religion. Like, I don't think everyone has ever decided to believe in God when they didn't before because they lost an argument or because somebody yelled at them. And, kind probably vice versa, you know people don't change when you shout at them. People don't open up when they feel mocked or condemned or made to feel stupid or wrong or, or evil.
I really do think, and this is a line, I can't, I wish I remember where I heard it, but I repeated it it time and time again. And I believe it's true. People listen to people who have listened to them. People listen to people who have listened to them. And that's why so much of our cultural conversation feels stuck.
I think we're all yelling at each other, but [00:13:00] nobody's listening. Nobody's listening. And I think, you know. One of the ways we get stuck in this is we cite sources for why we're doing the things we're doing. And, uh, we think that we're, you know, we cite the prophets or we cite Jesus as you know, speaking truth to power.
And we say we're just doing what we see them doing. Um, and there's an element to that that's probably true, but I think when people point to Jesus or the prophets for as justification for just constant call out culture and critique, I think we're missing something. Yes. Absolutely do not hear me saying otherwise.
Jesus had harsh words for the religious and political elite of his day, and you know what? It got him killed. It did. But his main strategy, I don't think was going around and just constantly calling people out. I see his main strategy [00:14:00] as calling people in. He healed, he forgave, he welcomed. He ate with people.
He drew a diversity of different kinds of people to his his table, to his crowds, to his movements, to his inner circles. I mean, you had people in the same group who previously hated each other. You know who completely opposing ideologies. You had zealots and tax collectors, uh, a part of the same group.
Uh, you had Pharisees and Roman soldiers and not just, you know, one particular people group. You had all kinds of different groups of people drawn to Jesus in community. And I think that's because his main strategy wasn't calling people out. It was calling people in. Into a community of love and forgiveness and acceptance and understanding and all of those things.
And yes, he did call people out to the extent that he had harsh critiques [00:15:00] and those critiques did get him killed. Um, but I think the only reason the critiques were powerful enough. To warrant his execution that they, uh, carried the weight was because that he had already built an audience of people who were listening.
And those were people who he had called in. The belonging came first. The acceptance came first, and that's what. You know, made the harsher words stick, I think. 'cause because he had created this large, you know, following of people you know, the criticisms had an audience and that's what made them threatening.
Uh, but that audience came from calling people in, not calling people out. So I really think this is true, not just from what I see in the scriptures. You know, other, other ways, but just in my own personal experience, if I look back at my own journey, the thing that's, that has changed me the most and the thing that is the reason for why I see things the way I do now.
It hasn't been arguments, it's [00:16:00] not been books or debates or Bible verses. Uh, it's been relationships. It's been you know, developing and, and enjoying friendships with people who don't see things the way that I do but still treat me with respect and conversations where I listened as much as I talked.
Those experiences have shifted my perspectives in ways that. I can't always explain ways that I can't prove or cite with a Bible verse. Um, and honestly, they have caused me to have a change in perspectives that I have not seen coming. And that if you told me years ago that, you know, five years from now or couple months from now even, this is the way you're gonna see things, I'd be like, there's no way.
How could I possibly. Come to that, uh, that way of seeing things. Well, the answer is relationship. That's really it. It is not, uh, losing an argument. It wasn't, you know, reading something that really changed my perspective. I really do think what changes people is [00:17:00] relationships, uh, belonging before believing, uh, accepting and being accepted before you know, you, you change the way you think about things.
And, uh, it's through relationships that I really have learned to see the divine spark in every person. People who I disagree with people who I think are wrong still seeing the divine spark in them, which inspires me to, yeah, I de definitely wanna share what I believe with them, uh, but also recognizing that, uh, in order for that conversation to be fruitful, I need to be willing to listen to what they have to say too.
So I really do think this is the choice that's before us. If you want to stay the same. And you wanna stay closed off and you wanna stay angry, and you really wanna make sure that nobody is ever going to listen to you and that no one's ever really gonna hear you. Yeah, keep calling people out.
Keep firing off hot takes, keep shouting past people without really ever listening. [00:18:00] But what I've experienced is if you want peace and you want healing, and you want freedom and you actually do want people to listen to you, and you want to help people see things differently then start calling people in.
Stop calling people out and start calling people in. Share your perspective with humility. Uh, not certainty, but with humility, with love and kindness. But first you have to be willing to listen. So listen first, then speak because other people listen to people who have first listened to them. And I know that you know this because you probably know if you stop and think about it, that you listen to people who, if you have, feel like have, uh, listened to you.
Because we have to accept people before we can expect them to hear us. Just like we need to feel accepted before we'll ever listen to others. That I think is the way forward. So thanks for listening [00:19:00] to this week's episode of
